is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize