So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
