i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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