yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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