I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
