Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Come on in and take your pants off
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