Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
