The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You ruined the universe
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
