I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
