Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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