why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
