Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
