Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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