Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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