Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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