Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
