I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
