I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
