I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
