Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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