I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
