A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
