so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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