i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
