Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
