My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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