um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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