At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
tell me about the eggs
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
