PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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