Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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