I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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