i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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