Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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