So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
