Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
