Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What a dumb baby whore.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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