So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
