i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
