I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
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