community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
