I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
