he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
