Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
