The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
