everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize