I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
