I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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