watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
