His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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