Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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