I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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