youre lurking in front of me
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
