don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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