i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
