whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
