He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
