...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
