he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
