id be glad to
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
