If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
