Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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