thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That's intense
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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