just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
