He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
