Im at strip club and am horny
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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